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I still assume at times that my husband will recognize that I love him if I do his laundry and keep the house clean and care well for our children, etc. Instead, I found someone outside the cult and we've been married almost 32 years She's looking for a dedicated priesthood holder who will take her to the temple. We moved city over 6 months ago which was in the best interests of her career as well as mine. I'd at least insist that at 12 the kids can choose to disaffiliate. If I knew any better going into this relationship I would have stopped. At that point we quit going and focused on her goals and family bonding. I am just short of living in a shelter because he has all of his pay going into a separate account for just him now and he has given access tot he account to his mistress. See her good qualities for what they are and see it as a good relationship to remember. And the nonmember spouse may just put pressure on the member spouse to spend more time with them. Given the high divorce rate in this particular specialty, it might have helped him if there were people in the environment who questioned his behavior or at the very least, registered some sort of disapproval.
No sex before marriage. My husband is more relaxed now - even with 14 hour days - and yes, I am starting to feel like he is "coming back". I was off travelling the world when I met and fell madly in love with a deployed Marine.